I feel like we do so much of this - feeding the already fed. Some have asked me if I am going to our local District Ladies Conference. Probably not. I have several reasons why:
1. I have been going to these for 30 years and not much has changed. It's basically the same message in different packages. I feel like most of us already weigh about 500 pounds- spiritually. We waddle in, get fed again and waddle back out the door and settle back into our comfortable lives. There has to be more....I am so totally burnt out with this that I really could scream. I have felt this way for several years, although I did attend the conferences up until now, because it's what we do, but I really can't do it any more. I want to feed the lost and hurting souls outside of the four walls of the church. We say we are all about soul winning...really??? How many times do we need to hear about it before we take it out to the street? Now if our conferences included doing something out in the community....
2. I notice this years theme of the conference was something about Generation to Generation. I guess that's fine if you and your entire family have been in the church since great, great grandma. Mine has not. And it seems a lot of it is good if your husband is a minister. Mine is not. My husband doesn't even serve God and neither does anyone else in my family. I am the lone Christian here. It seems most of the time the conferences are geared toward these things, although a few years ago I did get to speak for 5 minutes on praying for your unsaved husband.
3. I feel like when I do attend I have to be someone I am not. I am a motorcycle rider and I am very much burdened for Hollywood. I have been involved with The Hollywood Prayer Network for 4 years and every year I always ask if I could set up a display at the conference with material on this mission field. Every year I get the same answer: "It would probably cause problems for the church because Hollywood is seen as sin and we we don't get involved with sin. " You've got to be kidding! I can't even wrap my mind around that....What did Jesus get involved in if wasn't sin and sinners?? Hollywood - "the world's most influential mission field" and no one gets it. Don't get me wrong, my Pastor and his wife support what I am doing but many of the ladies coming to the conference would not. So, when will be the time I can present it at the Conference? In 5 years, 10 years?? Other churches and denominations are involved with this and have been for many years. Why are we always behind the times?? So, I don't talk about this burden to feed the lost and hurting that we see on TV everyday. I just try to stay as connected as I can to those in Hollywood with the same passion as myself.
"The movies, the people who make them, and the people who see them are important. The absence of God's people from the movies has been tragic. Millions of people are being misled and corrupted because the salt has been absent and because the lambs have not roared. A reentry for Christians presents very formidable challenges, but God is able if His people are obedient.The movies can be both an important mission field and and an important vehicle for the gospel." from the book: Roaring Lambs, The Movies: Box Office Closed by Bob Briner
4. This really has nothing to do with the Ladies Conference, but I thought I would throw it in, since I am talking on this subject. I am an AzusaStreetRider. As far as I know I am the only biker from my church that joined this group. We are not a motorcycle club, but a motorcycle ministry. Really?? I am our website quite a bit and the only thing I see we do is ride from one church rally to the next. We all wear back patches with our logo and Acts 2:38. We wear those not only so people will know we belong to this group, but also so others outside the church will ask about it....it's a soul winning tool. The thing is though, you actually have to go some place other than our own saved church folks for it to be effective - like our Moutainfest Motorcycle Rally. What a field ripe for the harvest. Last year there were 80,000 registered bikers. I go every year. We have several other AzusaStreetRider members in our area. I am the only AzusaStreetRider who attends. I also thought maybe this ministry would get somewhere with our own Biker Sunday we have had for the last three years, but now, even that has been cancelled.
I'm sure there are those who will misunderstand, condemn and criticize what I have said. But that's ok. I am not bashing the Ladies Conference. There is just noting there for me and I am simply stating the reasons I don't want to go. If you enjoy the Ladies Conference, that's wonderful. I'm sure there will be some good things there for you. I just can't do it anymore.
I am really trying to be a "roaring lamb" and make a difference in our world, but I can't do it alone. But then again, I keep saying that, but the truth is, I have been doing it alone for several years. And I can't do it by constantly being fed and never doing anything with what I have already eaten - spiritually, that is.
Like I have been saying for a long time now, "I feel like a root bound potted plant. I am going to have to be planted so I can branch out and grow, be all that I am suppose to be, do all that I am suppose to do, or I will eventually die."
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