Feeding the Fed

 

I feel like we do so much of this - feeding the already fed. Some have asked me if I am going to our local District Ladies Conference. Probably not. I have several reasons why:

 

1.  I have been going to these for 30 years and not much has changed. It's basically the same message in different packages. I feel like most of us already weigh about 500 pounds- spiritually. We waddle in, get fed again and waddle back out the door and settle back into our comfortable lives. There has to be more....I am so totally burnt out with this that I really could scream.  I have felt this way for several years, although I did attend the conferences up until now, because it's what we do, but I really can't do it any more. I want to feed the lost and hurting souls outside of the four walls of the church. We say we are all about soul winning...really??? How many times do we need to hear about it before we take it out to the street? Now if our conferences included doing something out in the community....

 

2.  I notice this years theme of the conference was something about Generation to Generation. I guess that's fine if you and your entire family have been in the church since great, great grandma.  Mine has not.  And it seems a lot of it is good if your husband is a minister. Mine is not. My husband doesn't even serve God and neither does anyone else in my family. I am the lone Christian here. It seems most of the time the conferences are geared toward these things, although a few years ago I did get to speak for 5 minutes on praying for your unsaved husband.

 

 3.  I feel like when I do attend I have to be someone I am not. I am a motorcycle rider and I am very much burdened for Hollywood. I have been involved with The Hollywood Prayer Network for 4 years and every year I always ask if I could set up a display at the conference with material on this mission field. Every year I get the same answer: "It would probably cause problems for the church because Hollywood is seen as sin and we we don't get involved with sin. " You've got to be kidding!  I can't even wrap my mind around  that....What did Jesus get involved in if wasn't sin and sinners?? Hollywood - "the world's most influential mission field" and no one gets it.  Don't get me wrong, my Pastor and his wife support what I am doing but many of the ladies coming to the conference would not. So, when will be the time I can present it at the Conference? In 5 years, 10 years?? Other churches and denominations are involved with this and have been for many years. Why are we always behind the times?? So, I don't talk about this burden to feed the lost and hurting that we see on TV everyday. I just try to stay as connected as I can to those in Hollywood with the same passion as myself.

"The movies, the people who make them, and the people who see them are important. The absence of God's people from the movies has been tragic. Millions of people are being misled and corrupted because the salt has been absent and because the lambs have not roared. A reentry for Christians presents very formidable challenges, but God is able if His people are obedient.The movies can be both an important mission field and and an important vehicle for the gospel."   from the book: Roaring Lambs, The Movies: Box Office Closed  by  Bob Briner

 

 4. This really has nothing to do with the Ladies Conference, but I thought I would throw it in, since I am talking on this subject. I am an AzusaStreetRider. As far as I know I am  the only biker from my church that joined this group. We are not a motorcycle club, but a motorcycle ministry. Really?? I am our website quite a bit and the only thing I see we do is ride from one church rally to the next. We all wear back patches with our logo and Acts 2:38. We wear those not only so people will know we belong to this group, but also so others outside the church will ask about it....it's a soul winning tool. The thing is though, you actually have to go some place other than our own saved church folks for it to be effective - like our Moutainfest Motorcycle Rally. What a field ripe for the harvest. Last year there were 80,000 registered bikers. I go every year.  We have several other AzusaStreetRider members in our area.  I am the only AzusaStreetRider who attends. I also thought maybe this ministry would get somewhere with our own Biker Sunday we have had for the last three years, but now, even that has been cancelled.

 

I'm sure there are those who will misunderstand, condemn and criticize what I have said. But that's ok. I am not bashing the Ladies Conference. There is just noting there for me and I am simply stating the reasons I don't want to go. If you enjoy the Ladies Conference, that's wonderful. I'm sure there will be some good things there for you. I just can't do it anymore.

 

I am really trying to be a "roaring lamb" and make a difference in our world, but I can't do it alone. But then again, I keep saying that, but the truth is, I have been doing it alone for several years. And I can't do it by constantly being fed and never doing anything with what I have already eaten - spiritually, that is. 

 

Like I have been saying for a long time now, "I feel like a root bound potted plant.  I am going to have to be planted so I can branch out and grow, be all that I am suppose to be, do all that I am suppose to do, or I will eventually die." 

American Idol and Perfect Pia

 

American Idol. A show I never watched until the last couple of years when my husband Mark began watching it. He really likes those kind of shows. I didn't, but after watching for awhile, I must admit it's fun to get all caught up in it. This season is no exception. It's really different from the previous seasons...different judges and a more exciting atmosphere. We get a kick out of new judge Steven Tyler and some of the things he says. He has been known to say some outrageous and shocking  things, but for the most part, he has calmed down some for the show. Mark and I refer to his witty comments as "Stevenisms".  Such as the other night when Scotty, who changed his usual country style and did a fabulous job with an Elvis song, Steven loved it and commented, "I thought you were all hat no cattle"!

But last night brought the biggest shock of all when Pia was voted off. In the very beginning of the season I was sure if she wasn't the one to become the next American Idol she would be the one  standing next to the winner. And we still have a long way to go before we get to the winner. Last night she was in the bottom three and standing next to Stefano, who is good, but has barely squeaked by in this season. I was sure he was the one leaving....I was wrong and shocked. So was everyone else including the other Idol contestants. The audience was upset and booing. Others were in tears. The judges looked stunned and when ask about the vote their comments were: "I have no idea what happened here. I'm shocked. I'm angry," said judge Jennifer Lopez. Steven said viewers were wrong, adding, "She's beautiful. When she sings, she's a bird." Randy said,"I'm never upset on this show, and I'm never really mad, but this, like, this makes me mad. What is going on?"

I wondered myself what is going on and why would she of all people, not get enough votes. Everyone on that show is excellent, but Pia....well, Pia is perfect. First of all she is stunning. Long dark hair, perfect figure, perfect smile. She could be a model/cover girl for anything and from what I have seen on the show she has a wonderful personality and of course she can sing. She can really sing. She can sing perfectly. So why wasn't there enough votes cast to keep her in? Maybe because she seems so perfect. Perfect is hard to relate to. Not many of us feel perfect. We tend to root for the underdog or maybe the ones who seem to struggle. Although I'm sure Pia has struggled and worked hard to get this far.  It seems that way in life - we look at those who seem to have it all and wonder why everything just falls in place for them. No work, no struggle, life just seems to give them everything. But I am sure if we could look into their lives we would see all the pain and brokenness they have had to endure. We sometimes do tend to "judge a book by it's cover". I have been guilty of that myself, wondering why someone elses life seems so perfect and mine is such a mess. We tend to compare our lives with others, which Jesus warned is not wise. We all have our own lives to live. Our own callings. Our own path to follow. We are each born with a different Destiny and God knows best how to get us where we are suppose to be.  My heart went out to Pia. She held it together until the show was over. As she was being consoled by the other contestants you could hear her sobbing. I prayed for her last night.  I thought of how broken hearted that "perfect" girl was right now. We never know what is going on in the lives others. I'm so glad for a Savior that knows us inside and out. He knows our heartaches and struggles and He's our healer and our strength. He truly is the only perfect one. I'm glad He loves ALL of us...because not one of us is really perfect.

It is what it is......

 

"We all have to start with ourselves. It is time to walk the talk. Take the journey of making very difficult decisions. Start removing things from your life that are not filling your cup and adding things that bring joy in to your life."

~Lisa Hammon

 

"It is what it is......"

I never understood that saying until a few weeks ago. Mark says it all the time. I always thought it was so annoying...until lately... and it just to came to light. It was an "aha" moment. When everything becomes clear and all you thought you knew just disappears and you're left with the thought that all the thinking, discussing and analyzing is not going to change some things that you've know all along. It's taken me a very long time to see things and people as they really are. Wow, it really is like a clear day....I wish I would have known years ago what I know now, but then again... I guess I did. I wouldn't have accepted it before. I was just wishing for something better....this is the something better.

 

A friend ask me the other day if I was still blogging. I told her yes, but I just hadn't posted anything for awhile...about March 14 to be exact. And that was something I had written back in February. I just couldn't think past all that has happened this last month. It's been interesting and enlightening ....strange and beautiful....... I'm still not sure what it all means. I'm just following answers to prayers. Some of the fog is lifting. It's that clear day I've been searching for....It's not what I thought at all....time to move on...time for change... I suppose .....bittersweet...but- it is what it is.... I feel like maybe for the first time I have landed on planet earth! Looking around and seeing where I am in this life. This is probably one of those blogs that is not going to make since unless this has happened to you. But maybe since I am writing my thoughts, such as they are, something new will come into my head to write about.  
  

So many good sayings and quotes fell in my lap during the last month. I love good quotes. Some I used as my status on facebook...I wanted to share them in here also. They sum up better than anything all that happened to me this last month:

 

"Your happiness and peace results from uncovering what is true for you and what truly works and nobody can uncover those things for you. You alone must assume the risks, dive in, and take your chances. A life well lived is a life of taking chances and hanging out with people who help you grow."

Dick Warn

 

"You can pray but sometimes God just wants you to take care of it yourself.  You can sit and listen to the music but sometimes you must get up and dance. You can complain but sometimes you need to do whatever it takes to correct something. You can believe but sometimes you must take action, make a plan, change your ways, add to,take from, build up, tear down, walk away, come back, climb, fall, get up, lie down, move ahead or move on."

- Bob Perks

 

"Oh my cup is full, it’s come full circle. "

~ And Furthermore

Judi Dench